where is Jesus?

I remember a joke I once heard about two boys who were more than a little ornery. They were best friends and found themselves in trouble over and over again. They especially liked stealing things...candy from the stores, toys from the neighbors, change from their parents. The one boy's mother was very concerned and went to her pastor. After explaining her son's behavior, she expressed her fear that this was really a spiritual matter. Her son, now 10, should know better. Maybe he didn't know Jesus.

The pastor decided to go to the boy and talk with him. His approach was simple: he walked up to the boy and said, "Where's Jesus?" The boy didn't know what to say. What kind of question was this? Before he could answer the pastor spoke a little louder, "Boy, where's Jesus?" The boy started to tear up. "I don't know," he spoke softly. The pastor, feeling as if he was making progress, now yelled at the boy, "WHERE IS JESUS?" The terrified little boy took off. He ran down the block to his friend's house, busted through the door, and ran up to his friend's room. Without even giving his friend a chance to say hello, he burst out, "We're in big trouble this time! Jesus is missing and they think we stole him, too!"

What, you may ask, brought this joke to mind? Well, we've been looking for Jesus. Literally. Jesus from one of our nativities has been missing for two days now. I figured that Markus had something to do with it. A couple of weeks ago, he took another Jesus. It was the Jesus from my Fontanini Italian-made nativity. Well, Markus decided to take that Jesus for a ride in his toy Tonka dump trunk.

After telling a friend of ours that Markus was playing with the fancy nativity, she very graciously gifted us a plastic nativity set that was designed for kids to play with. For a couple of weeks, Markus and Belle played with the nativity quite a bit. More than once, we found a toy airplane or hotwheels car in the nativity, too. No big deal. They were having fun.

On Saturday while preparing the house for the parsonage open house, we realized that Jesus was missing again. This time it was the plastic Jesus from the toy nativity. Though it wasn't of great value, I was a little concerned. What's a nativity without a baby Jesus? We suspected Markus had something to do with this disappearance, too. So we asked him. All he would say was that baby Jesus went nite-nite. We figured that meant he had hid it somewhere in his room and would bring it out eventually.

This evening as Tara was changing his diaper, we found baby Jesus. He may have been tucked into Markus' bed or nestled away in a toy car at first. But here's how we found baby Jesus:

Baby Jesus is no more. Markus and our cockapoo (Teddy Bear) ruined plastic Jesus.

Though slightly mortified, I had to laugh. Markus' antics often leave us worn out, but often leave us laughing, too. (I'm not sure where I'm going to find a 1" plastic Jesus though.) I'm just glad that the memory of looking for plastic baby Jesus will far outlast any nativity we could ever display. Oh, the joys of parenting!

thoughts on "The Story of My Life"

This past weekend I attended a benefit show, "The Story of My Life," at the Parkersburg Actor's Guild. The show was directed by veteran guild director John Lee, and starred two veteran actors, R.J. Lowe and Josh Martin. I have to admit that I wasn't expecting the show to be all that great, not because of the actors or director, but because of its short Broadway run of five regular performances (18 total). Was I wrong or what? This show was amazing!

The story highlights the lifelong friendship of Alvin and Thomas, who met as misfits in the first grade. The show opened with Thomas trying to write a eulogy for his friend Alvin who died mysteriously. Though Thomas is an award-winning author, he can't seem to find the words appropriate for such a person at such a time. In a "flashback" style, this memory musical features stories that Thomas has written and replayed on-stage by Alvin's ghost and Thomas.

The show's focus is on the undying bonds of friendship. Though Alvin and Thomas go different directions after graduating from high school, they are drawn back to each other time after time. Like many friendships, theirs grows apart for a time. Told with great passion and humor, this light-hearted show really challenges the audience to think about their life as a story of relationships, some still alive and well and some faded over time.

When the curtain went down, I was speechless. Those around me were, too. I think that's probably why it didn't make it on Broadway: it's serious and bittersweet. No big flashy show tunes; instead, numerous reminiscent ballads and light-hearted tunes were shared. No great costume or set changes; the only costume change was the donning of suit jackets and the only set changes was the moving of a library ladder and a podium. The set itself consisted of a few bookshelves, a desk and chair, a library ladder, and a podium.

The simplicity of the show and the depth with which the issue of friendship and loyalty is explored made this an absolutely amazing show. It caused me to wonder what the stories of my life will be, who my lifelong friends are and will be, and what words will be said of me when I'm gone. No light matters, for sure. But matters of life...real life.

party crashers

I admit it: the story about Tareq and Michaele Salahi (the couple who crashed a state dinner at the White House last week) has captivated me in so many ways. (For the latest, check here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_uninvited_guests.)

First, how in the world did they make it in if they weren't invited? Come on! This isn't like sneaking into Disney World or Busch Gardens without a ticket. This is the White House! Security reports from that evening describe three checkpoints BEFORE guests even made it to the door of the White House (where the infamous and questionable guest list was checked - not so carefully!).

Second, what's with their friend at the Pentagon? It's great to have friends in high places, but the story sounds fishy. Wouldn't this woman have caught on to the fact that she was being used? The emails sound like they speak for themselves: the couple was pushy, she was put in an awkward position and told them they probably wouldn't get an invite, and the couple went to the White House anyway.

Third, the level of arrogance and self-perceived importance is certainly remarkable. Not only did they use their friend at the Pentagon, they publicly disputed cold, card evidence (the chain of communication through emails between the couple and their friend is indisputable). And then, to make matters worse, they are selling their first interview to the network with the highest bid. IF they really wanted to avoid possible criminal charges and IF they really did think they were invited, wouldn't it make more sense to be busting down the doors of anyone who would listen so that the story would get cleared up? Instead, they are looking for their moment in the spotlight and a chance to make a few bucks.

All this has lead me to ask the question that has become synonymous with evangelical Christianity: what would Jesus do?

Well, on one hand, I think Jesus had a pretty awesome sense of humor. So, he'd probably laugh a bit. All the hype about national security and we can't even keep party crashers out of the White House? In some strange way, this sounds like something Jesus and his motley crew of disciples would've done to poke fun at the Pharisees.

But maybe I'm being too soft. Wouldn't Jesus have been appalled by the outlandish show of self-importance and pride? Wouldn't he have cautioned them of thinking more of themselves than they ought? Wouldn't he have told some parable to humble them a bit?

Well, he did (sort of). A parable from Luke's gospel has been running through my mind since this story surfaced. Hear how Eugene Peterson puts it in the Message Bible:

^7-9He went on to tell a story to the guests around the table. Noticing how each had tried to elbow into the place of honor, he said, "When someone invites you to dinner, don't take the place of honor. Somebody more important than you might have been invited by the host. Then he'll come and call out in front of everybody, 'You're in the wrong place. The place of honor belongs to this man.' Red-faced, you'll have to make your way to the very last table, the only place left.

^10-11"When you're invited to dinner, go and sit at the last place. Then when the host comes he may very well say, 'Friend, come up to the front.' That will give the dinner guests something to talk about! What I'm saying is, If you walk around with your nose in the air, you're going to end up flat on your face. But if you're content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself."

No doubt, the place of honor didn't belong to these two party-crashers. I'm humiliated for them. I imagine most people with any sense of self respect would be. What a lesson! Jesus' words are pretty clear (even if paraphrased): "If you walk around with your nose in the air, you're going to end up flat on your face."

Happy New Year!

Today marks the beginning of a new Christian Year! And what better day for me to return to the pulpit!?! It was great to be back in action. I have really, really missed our wonderful Lubeck UMC family. What a blessing to be reunited!

I'm praying that the start of a new Christian year will also be the start of a new path to health. No doubt about it, I'm tired of being sick! I've had my share of illness for the year (make that the decade!). So, this year I'm setting out on a journey of health. I'm going to be more careful about taking care of myself - something I'm usually not good at doing.

One of my colleagues recently went through a terrible illness. He was very sick for several months. Going back to his ministry work was very challenging. He emailed me the other day to offer what he called unsolicited advice. Unsolicited, maybe; but it was MUCH appreciated advice. His advice? Simply this: redefine "normal."

Instead of going back into his ministry at the breakneck speed at which he left, he was forced to reevaluate. His time away (which was also a near-death experience) challenged him to consider his work habits. Like me, he is a workaholic who loves his job almost to a fault. But when he returned to work, he couldn't possibly return to doing all that he had been doing. He couldn't work 10 and 12 hours at a time. He couldn't work six days a week. He couldn't spend his days "off" doing ministry tasks, no matter how seemingly mundane and simple the tasks seemed. My friend had to redefine normal.

So that's what I'm going to try to do. In this new holy season of Advent, at the beginning of a new Christian year, it's time for a change. It's time for health. It's time for new. It's time to redefine normal.

(By the way, if all this talk about the "Christian year" is confusing, take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liturgical_year.)

sick of sick

I am so tired of illness. First it was Tara, then Belle, then Markus. Then it was my turn (the whole H1N1 and double pneumonia thing). Well, I took another turn on Friday by getting a sinus infection (more antibiotics, YAY!). So instead of going to church this morning, which I was really looking forward to, I stayed in bed because of a fever and generally feeling horrible. Then Markus woke up from his nap this afternoon with a fever of nearly 104. So Tara just took him to the clinic.

Enough already! This illness thing is getting really old. We are sick of sick!

rushing Christmas

Okay, so there's something that is really bugging me. Is it just me or are we really rushing Christmas? Just a few weeks ago, I was mortified when Isabella, after having just purchased her Halloween costume, asked me why there were Christmas trees up in Wal-Mart. I looked at her, with the same bewildered look she was offering me, and said, "Honey, it's mass consumerism at its best and they are trying to make a buck off of Jesus."

Each year, it seems that society pulls Christmas earlier and earlier into the year. It's not at all out of the ordinary to see Christmas advertising well before Thanksgiving. One radio station in Charleston has already traded their typical rock repertoire for nonstop "holiday hits." Mall Santa Clauses are making their debuts well before the turkey and dressing hit the table. Many retailers, trying to combat a weak economy, are offering "Black Friday" sales every weekend now. If it were up to us, Jesus would be a preemie!

While my response to Isabella's question was probably over her head, it was my gut response to the corruption of one of Christianity's most sacred celebrations. Naturally, not everyone celebrates the Christian message during Christmas. Not everyone understands or believes the nativity story. But what about those of us who do? How can those of us who believe the Christmas story really is about God's great love in sending a Son to us - not about going in debt to give better gifts and throw better parties - how can we live out our beliefs?

What about the way we invest our money and time? Last year, for instance, Tara and I decided to purchase only a small gift for our parents and then make donations to charitable organizations in their honor. The charities we gave to both provide gifts, food, and clothing to orphaned and vulnerable children. In this way, we were able to still arrive to the family Christmas celebrations with a token of our love and appreciation, but the greatest part of the gift was given so that others could celebrate the joy of being loved, too. That's not spending; that's investing.

Another way that my household rallies against the premature celebration of Christmas is to not put up the decorations in the house until after Thanksgiving. It seems kind of strange to me to be sitting at Thanksgiving dinner with Christmas decorations staring at me, rushing me to finish that turkey drumstick and move on to the next holiday. Are we so busy that we can't take our holidays one at a time?

After having gone through this recent illness and nearly losing my life, I have a different perspective this holiday season. I don't want a busy, hectic, hair-pulling holiday season. I don't want to hustle from one event to the next. I want to slow down and enjoy the beauty of faith, family, friends, and festivities. I want to be in the moment, "here and now." I don't want to rushed and I don't think Jesus wants to be rushed either.

More than that, I want to fully prepare for Christmas by celebrating Advent, literally meaning "coming." Advent is the Christian season of preparing for the coming of the Christ. We prepare our hearts, our minds, our homes, our all. When we slow down enough to really be in the moment, to really prepare for the great Christmas season (which technically doesn't even begin until December 25), we can be all the more attentive to the gifts of God: both the Christmas Christ Child and the every day blessings of family and friends.

So, fellow Christians, I dare you to join me. Don't rush ahead. Put those decorations away for just a few more days. Give gifts from the heart that will truly change lives. Prepare the way of the Lord. Then we'll be blessed with a very Merry Christmas...at the right time!!!

cabin fever

After all these weeks of being shut in at home and at the hospital, I think I am finally tipping over the boiling point of insanity. Cabin fever is an understatement, really. I've read a new John Grisham book (Ford County: Stories, a collection of great short stories that he's accumulated over the years). I've done Sudoku puzzles and nearly finished a 240 puzzle word search book. I've watched more TV in these weeks than I've watched all year (and more than I'll probably watch all next year). I've planned a few worship services for when I return to my ministry tasks. I've read all the copies of The Christian Century that are laying around the house (gotta go to the office to get others tomorrow). I've read and reread the abundance of gift cards that people have sent (all 98 of them!). I've made Christmas shopping lists and even shopped a little thanks to the convenience of shopping online.

It's a funny place to be - in between. I'm in between just lying around and getting back to life as normal. I'm in between wanting to get into stuff and having the strength to actually do it. In between is a lonely and strange place, one that I don't recall having visited very often in my life.

Tomorrow will be another adventure: my first day alone. Tara starts her new job tomorrow as a department manager for Gabriel Brothers in Parkersburg. Markus will go off to daycare (there's no way I can handle him yet). Belle will head to school. Me? Who knows? I'm hoping to walk across the yard over the church to get a couple of books to read. Maybe a midday nap. Maybe another 240 word search puzzles. Hopefully, I'll find something to do that will break the monotony without breaking me!

home

Oh, how sweet it is to be home! Words can't describe how it feels to be on this side of this illness. I've got a long way to go, but what a long way we've come in these past weeks.

Last night was a bit rough. I hadn't laid flat for a while and getting comfortable was challenging. Once I got comfortable and my meds kicked in, I slept great for the most part. I'm still having these horrible night sweats. Something inside me changed with this thing. I used to require a sheet, quilt, and blanket, all nicely tucked up to my chin. Now a sheet is more than enough! Weird, huh?

Today has been quite restful and for that I'm thankful. Blogging is by far the most strenuous thing I've done. :) I guess that's the word of the week: rest. As a recovering workaholic who loves to be constantly doing, this rest thing is challenging. There's so much to do. There's house stuff that I could tend to, church stuff galore, calls to be made, emails to be answered, etc. But I surrender my workaholic ways and submit to the doctors' orders: rest.

In these days, I'm thinking of Isaiah 30:15: "For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:
In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." This is my prayer: that I may rest, find stillness, and trust in the God of my salvation!

One day at a time...resting!

from the hospital

Well...here I am, still in CAMC Memorial in Charleston. Who-da thunk that feeling a bit rough back on Oct. 16 would have led to all this? This has been some adventure! The news from the doctors is getting better and (slowly) l am feeling better. But I am still so weak and weary. There's so much to think about: near-death Monday, damaged lungs which may never fully heal, an immune system left ragged. Will I have enough air to sing and act? When will I be ready to return to my pastoral duties? Will I soon have enough oxygen to preach a full sermon? Can my body be exposed to normal germs without wearing down?

Yet amidst all the questions, I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful for my family and their love. I am thankful for my amazing church family for caring so graciously for me & my family...how incredible the church has been. I am thankful for the medical staff which has fought alongside me. I am thankful for the power of prayer. I am thankful for God's healing grace!

The healing journey continues. For another day, I am so very thankful!

the flu

Okay, so I've got to be one of the worst sicklings ever. I've been in bed with the flu since Sunday and I'm going absolutely crazy. I'm still running a fever, coughing up a lung, having problems breathing - and yet, I'm bored out of my mind.

I go to Facebook to kill some time until I can fall back asleep. What happens? All those lovely "mothers" I'm blessed to have in my life shut me out. "Go back to bed!" "Off the internet!" "Go rest!" Okay, I get the point, but my goodness... I can only rest so much! (I really appreciate your love though!)

I tried to work on lines for Godspell. This is by far the most productive thing I've done in days. I made it through all my lines once, before my mind started wondering. (Thanks to the steroids!) Who knows if I'll remember anything I studied?

So I decided to play games online. I love word games (real geek, I know!). Bookworm is my fave! (Try it sometime, you'll see!) After about an hour...same scenario. Boredom!

About the only thing I'm doing well right now is eating (again, thanks steroids!) and sleeping. Oh, restoration can't come soon enough!

I was blessed by a sweet parishioner (Kate Hasse) who dropped by with a huge care package for us. She's a nurse practitioner and really knows best what we need (hand sanitizer, tissues, soup, crackers, jello, ginger ale, Tylenol, cough drops). What a sweetie!

Several others have called and emailed, too.

Okay, if you are still reading this, you are a really dedicated friend. Either that, or you are just as bored as I am! :)

Enough randomness for now! I've got the munchies. (Thanks, steroids!)

home

Well, I made it home this afternoon at about 2:30. It was a long and dreary drive complete with rain, fog, mist, and even a bit of snow. Getting out of Pittsburgh was...well, interesting. Whoever designed those city streets had to have had a very twisted mind!

Though I'm home, I think part of me is still away. I'm just kind of out of it. Coming back to the reality of home and family and church life after such amazing times away is always difficult for me. I guess it's my "inner monk" fighting for more time apart. :)

The kids were so happy to see me. Belle just latched hold of me, very quickly defending her messy room by saying, "I'm still working on it." Markus grabbed my neck and held me for quite a while. He kept saying, "Daddy! Daddy!" Even being away from the kids for a couple of days is rough. Markus seems to change and grow each day. Belle is all too quickly becoming a young lady. I can't imagine life without them. As I sat at the dining room table catching up on some emails and Tara sat in the recliner nursing her respiratory infection, Belle and Markus wrestled, snuggled, laughed, and played. That's when I realized that, yes, I'm home.

OSL Retreat

Well, the official learning and worship of The Order has concluded. Worship was tremendous - high church worship at its absolute best! Smells and bells, chant and silence, baptismal remembrance and Eucharist. (By the way, "Eucharist" is a word which means "Thanksgiving" and is another name for Holy Communion.) Sr. Heather Murray Elkins' presentations were outstanding as always and left me yearning to return to the academic world to do a PhD. Someday perhaps...

The Council of the Order reconvened after lunch to finish our business for this event. Business is not always the most interesting matter, but within the Order, even our business is conducted prayerfully and in light of our covenant as brothers and sisters in Christ. Someone once dubbed this prayerful business "worshipful work." The only tasks which remain are dinner and fellowship tonight and breakfast and closing Eucharist for the Council tomorrow.

I was talking with one member of the Order the other night during a pilgrimage to a local eatery. I shared with him that there is this part of me that wishes that I could be a monk. I say it half-joking, of course. After all, how many monks have you met who are married with two children? Or are as young as I? Or wear an earring and play Nintendo Wii and think sandals are a year round option?

All jokes and oddities aside, there is a part of me that longs to live more fully into the reality of ordered religious life. Every time I am blessed to be with the Order, I have this same longing. In other words, I'm never ready for retreat to be over. I'm never ready to go back into a life of diaspora (life apart). If only we could all be together, praying and chanting and communing, all the time... But the beauty of the baptismal covenant is that all Christians ARE bound together in this way. We are one! Yes, we are apart geographically. Yes, we are different in many ways. But still, we are one because we join our voices together in proclamation: Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again.

Starting OSL Retreat

PITTSBURGH, PA

I arrived in Pittsburgh at about 8 pm. Though it was about three hours later than I had hoped to be here, I still joined up with my best friend Paula and several other OSLers. We ate at a great little restaurant on East Carson Street; the name was Pittsburgh Steak Company, I think.

Nonetheless, the drive over was great. I enjoyed two 45 minutes lectures on C.S. Lewis and then switched to some Josh Groban music. As I drove up I-77 and across I-70, the leaves dazzled in the evening sun. Compared to back home, the leaves up here have really changed. Just as I drove into Wheeling, I looked in my rearview mirror for a magnificent blazing autumn sunset. Streams of pink and lavender stretched across the sky behind me, from the mountains on my right to the mountains on my left. Stunning!

The drive into Pittsburgh was interesting. I'm definitely not a city boy. All this traffic and noise is too much to deal with. I like visiting the city from time to time, but there is no place like home! With exception of the hounds barking behind the house, I imagine that all is quiet there in Lubeck tonight.

Right now, I'm getting ready for bed. My room at St. Paul of the Cross Retreat Center and Monastery is simple: a twin bed, a little chair, a luggage rack, and a sink. How these monks live in such humble (and tiny) quarters all the time is beyond me! But what devotion they must have to lead this simple life.

In typical Roman Catholic style, there is a huge crucifix hanging across from my bed, too. It's kind of freaking me out a bit (particularly the plaque that's attached right to the front of it so that everyone can see who donated it!). I'm so glad we Protestants took Jesus off our crosses a long time ago! If I had to look at a crucifix each and every morning when I woke up, I wonder if I would forget that Jesus is actually alive? It's good to remember that he suffered and died for the sins of the world, but without the resurrection, we've only got part of the story.

Well, enough of my randomness for tonight! I must get rested up for the next few days of fellowship, learning, and worship.

Joy, people!

Okay, so let me vent about something. I was in a meeting very recently with "churchy" people. There was this guy there who I've been in gatherings with before. And this guy appears to be the most miserable, uptight person I've ever met. He looks angry and grumpy and not nice. I have experienced first hand how his looks mirror his actions, too. Even when I have shook his hand and smiled a big cheesy smile, he still keeps his grumpy face on.

I just don't get it. Sure people have bad days. I know I do. But everyday? NO!

I think one of the most missing aspects of Christianity today is joy. As I read the Bible and hear the stories of Jesus and his disciples, I think that these folks were really cool, joy-filled people. I can't imagine them sitting around being grumpy all the time, or frowning all the time. They would have been a pretty joyous bunch, I think. Joy defined their existence!!!

Shouldn't joy define ours, too? So, listen up all you grumpy, uptight people who claim the name of Jesus Christ: JOY UP!

Blue Like Jazz

So this week I finally got around to reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Yes, I'm a few years behind, but I finally go to it. I ordered it from half.com during Pastor's School.

As I started reading, I wasn't sure I was going to like it. His style is, well, different than most spirituality books I've read. For one, he writes very casually and pretty much writes as (presumably) he would talk. For someone like me with a case of ADHD, Donald Miller is breath of fresh air. It appears that he writes his random thought streams as they come to him. (In other words, he writes like I think - a bit scattered!).

Once I got into to the book, I couldn't put it down. He writes about the essentials of faith using real life illustrations and experiences in a funny, raw, humble, earthy way. Like many in my generation, Miller is not so sure about all the junk that goes along with "organized religion." (You know, the junk like bureaucracy, politics, bigotry, discrimination, self-righteousness, etc.) I like the way he doesn't beat around the bush about it. I wish I would be more brave and authentic about what bothers me about "church" world.

Nonetheless, if you want a refreshing and easy read that speaks volumes about Christian spirituality using nonreligious themes and narrative prose, then this is a book you want to read! But be warned: if you are easily offended by progressive ideas, you will be challenged and changed (but read it anyway because it will be good for you)!

Here's a quote that I especially love:

“I was watching BET one night, and they were interviewing a man about jazz music. He said jazz music was invented by the first generation out of slavery. I thought that was beautiful because, while it is music, it is very hard to put on paper; it is so much more a language of the souul… The first generation out of slavery invented jazz music. It is a music birthed out of freedom. And that is the closest thing I know to Christian spirituality . A music birthed out of freedom. Everybody sings their song the way they feel it, everybody closes their eyes and lifts up their hands.”

starting a blog

Okay. So I'm a bit behind my generation on starting this whole blog thing. I've tried other online journals and blogs before, but it just never worked. Yes, I like the feel of a real journal, the way the pages look (narrow ruled, wide margins, ivory paper, etc.). I like the feeling of a nice pen in my hand, with my choice of writing instrument varying with the mood of each day. Yep, I'm a book nerd trying to merge into the internet world. So, this is my humble attempt to do just that. Wish me luck!!!