Happy New Year!

Today marks the beginning of a new Christian Year! And what better day for me to return to the pulpit!?! It was great to be back in action. I have really, really missed our wonderful Lubeck UMC family. What a blessing to be reunited!

I'm praying that the start of a new Christian year will also be the start of a new path to health. No doubt about it, I'm tired of being sick! I've had my share of illness for the year (make that the decade!). So, this year I'm setting out on a journey of health. I'm going to be more careful about taking care of myself - something I'm usually not good at doing.

One of my colleagues recently went through a terrible illness. He was very sick for several months. Going back to his ministry work was very challenging. He emailed me the other day to offer what he called unsolicited advice. Unsolicited, maybe; but it was MUCH appreciated advice. His advice? Simply this: redefine "normal."

Instead of going back into his ministry at the breakneck speed at which he left, he was forced to reevaluate. His time away (which was also a near-death experience) challenged him to consider his work habits. Like me, he is a workaholic who loves his job almost to a fault. But when he returned to work, he couldn't possibly return to doing all that he had been doing. He couldn't work 10 and 12 hours at a time. He couldn't work six days a week. He couldn't spend his days "off" doing ministry tasks, no matter how seemingly mundane and simple the tasks seemed. My friend had to redefine normal.

So that's what I'm going to try to do. In this new holy season of Advent, at the beginning of a new Christian year, it's time for a change. It's time for health. It's time for new. It's time to redefine normal.

(By the way, if all this talk about the "Christian year" is confusing, take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liturgical_year.)

sick of sick

I am so tired of illness. First it was Tara, then Belle, then Markus. Then it was my turn (the whole H1N1 and double pneumonia thing). Well, I took another turn on Friday by getting a sinus infection (more antibiotics, YAY!). So instead of going to church this morning, which I was really looking forward to, I stayed in bed because of a fever and generally feeling horrible. Then Markus woke up from his nap this afternoon with a fever of nearly 104. So Tara just took him to the clinic.

Enough already! This illness thing is getting really old. We are sick of sick!

rushing Christmas

Okay, so there's something that is really bugging me. Is it just me or are we really rushing Christmas? Just a few weeks ago, I was mortified when Isabella, after having just purchased her Halloween costume, asked me why there were Christmas trees up in Wal-Mart. I looked at her, with the same bewildered look she was offering me, and said, "Honey, it's mass consumerism at its best and they are trying to make a buck off of Jesus."

Each year, it seems that society pulls Christmas earlier and earlier into the year. It's not at all out of the ordinary to see Christmas advertising well before Thanksgiving. One radio station in Charleston has already traded their typical rock repertoire for nonstop "holiday hits." Mall Santa Clauses are making their debuts well before the turkey and dressing hit the table. Many retailers, trying to combat a weak economy, are offering "Black Friday" sales every weekend now. If it were up to us, Jesus would be a preemie!

While my response to Isabella's question was probably over her head, it was my gut response to the corruption of one of Christianity's most sacred celebrations. Naturally, not everyone celebrates the Christian message during Christmas. Not everyone understands or believes the nativity story. But what about those of us who do? How can those of us who believe the Christmas story really is about God's great love in sending a Son to us - not about going in debt to give better gifts and throw better parties - how can we live out our beliefs?

What about the way we invest our money and time? Last year, for instance, Tara and I decided to purchase only a small gift for our parents and then make donations to charitable organizations in their honor. The charities we gave to both provide gifts, food, and clothing to orphaned and vulnerable children. In this way, we were able to still arrive to the family Christmas celebrations with a token of our love and appreciation, but the greatest part of the gift was given so that others could celebrate the joy of being loved, too. That's not spending; that's investing.

Another way that my household rallies against the premature celebration of Christmas is to not put up the decorations in the house until after Thanksgiving. It seems kind of strange to me to be sitting at Thanksgiving dinner with Christmas decorations staring at me, rushing me to finish that turkey drumstick and move on to the next holiday. Are we so busy that we can't take our holidays one at a time?

After having gone through this recent illness and nearly losing my life, I have a different perspective this holiday season. I don't want a busy, hectic, hair-pulling holiday season. I don't want to hustle from one event to the next. I want to slow down and enjoy the beauty of faith, family, friends, and festivities. I want to be in the moment, "here and now." I don't want to rushed and I don't think Jesus wants to be rushed either.

More than that, I want to fully prepare for Christmas by celebrating Advent, literally meaning "coming." Advent is the Christian season of preparing for the coming of the Christ. We prepare our hearts, our minds, our homes, our all. When we slow down enough to really be in the moment, to really prepare for the great Christmas season (which technically doesn't even begin until December 25), we can be all the more attentive to the gifts of God: both the Christmas Christ Child and the every day blessings of family and friends.

So, fellow Christians, I dare you to join me. Don't rush ahead. Put those decorations away for just a few more days. Give gifts from the heart that will truly change lives. Prepare the way of the Lord. Then we'll be blessed with a very Merry Christmas...at the right time!!!

cabin fever

After all these weeks of being shut in at home and at the hospital, I think I am finally tipping over the boiling point of insanity. Cabin fever is an understatement, really. I've read a new John Grisham book (Ford County: Stories, a collection of great short stories that he's accumulated over the years). I've done Sudoku puzzles and nearly finished a 240 puzzle word search book. I've watched more TV in these weeks than I've watched all year (and more than I'll probably watch all next year). I've planned a few worship services for when I return to my ministry tasks. I've read all the copies of The Christian Century that are laying around the house (gotta go to the office to get others tomorrow). I've read and reread the abundance of gift cards that people have sent (all 98 of them!). I've made Christmas shopping lists and even shopped a little thanks to the convenience of shopping online.

It's a funny place to be - in between. I'm in between just lying around and getting back to life as normal. I'm in between wanting to get into stuff and having the strength to actually do it. In between is a lonely and strange place, one that I don't recall having visited very often in my life.

Tomorrow will be another adventure: my first day alone. Tara starts her new job tomorrow as a department manager for Gabriel Brothers in Parkersburg. Markus will go off to daycare (there's no way I can handle him yet). Belle will head to school. Me? Who knows? I'm hoping to walk across the yard over the church to get a couple of books to read. Maybe a midday nap. Maybe another 240 word search puzzles. Hopefully, I'll find something to do that will break the monotony without breaking me!

home

Oh, how sweet it is to be home! Words can't describe how it feels to be on this side of this illness. I've got a long way to go, but what a long way we've come in these past weeks.

Last night was a bit rough. I hadn't laid flat for a while and getting comfortable was challenging. Once I got comfortable and my meds kicked in, I slept great for the most part. I'm still having these horrible night sweats. Something inside me changed with this thing. I used to require a sheet, quilt, and blanket, all nicely tucked up to my chin. Now a sheet is more than enough! Weird, huh?

Today has been quite restful and for that I'm thankful. Blogging is by far the most strenuous thing I've done. :) I guess that's the word of the week: rest. As a recovering workaholic who loves to be constantly doing, this rest thing is challenging. There's so much to do. There's house stuff that I could tend to, church stuff galore, calls to be made, emails to be answered, etc. But I surrender my workaholic ways and submit to the doctors' orders: rest.

In these days, I'm thinking of Isaiah 30:15: "For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:
In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." This is my prayer: that I may rest, find stillness, and trust in the God of my salvation!

One day at a time...resting!

from the hospital

Well...here I am, still in CAMC Memorial in Charleston. Who-da thunk that feeling a bit rough back on Oct. 16 would have led to all this? This has been some adventure! The news from the doctors is getting better and (slowly) l am feeling better. But I am still so weak and weary. There's so much to think about: near-death Monday, damaged lungs which may never fully heal, an immune system left ragged. Will I have enough air to sing and act? When will I be ready to return to my pastoral duties? Will I soon have enough oxygen to preach a full sermon? Can my body be exposed to normal germs without wearing down?

Yet amidst all the questions, I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful for my family and their love. I am thankful for my amazing church family for caring so graciously for me & my family...how incredible the church has been. I am thankful for the medical staff which has fought alongside me. I am thankful for the power of prayer. I am thankful for God's healing grace!

The healing journey continues. For another day, I am so very thankful!